Silence Instinct
by SamAlterEgo
Summary: [Set weeks after Snow Day] Just when they can finally be together, one fateful night, one violence assault changes everything. Will Lindsay rebuild her life or her wall? DL fic.
1. Shattered

Disclaimers: I own nothing... I guess.

Author's Note: I know I have not update my previous story- On the edge: Restless in ages. Sorry for all the inconviniences. I'm forced to put that story on hold because I can't seem to find time to complete the new chapter. This new story is an idea I got after watching Snow Day. I had been working on the first chapter for quite some time but I've no idea where this story will go. Seriously, a review would be really helpful. This is the first time I write in someone POV, good or bad review is equally welcome. Hopefully, this story is not a disappointment to the readers. - Sam.

* * *

I groaned groggily. I hardly got to enjoy being in the arms of the man who I finally dare to be in a relationship with after he helped me went through the trial of the crime I survived that had haunted my whole life. I had to pull double as the crime lab was short-handed since Danny was still recovering from the injuries he sustained from the drug case and would not be working in the field until the next Monday. I giggled as I recalled the way Danny pouted like a child when Mac ordered him to stay out of the field until his hand was fully recovered. 

My guilty conscience had me agreed to cover Danny's shift since I was the reason Danny got hurt in the first place. Eyes still half shut, I willed my hand toward the digital alarm clock to turn off the annoying sound. It was then my still sleepy mind realized the sound hadn't stopped even though I had hit the button and I groaned once more. My hand moved sideway to my cell which was beside the little wake-me-up device. Danny slightly stirred and I felt his hand which wrapped around my waist earlier moved upward while his free hand played with my curls.

I allowed a small smile tugged at the corner of my mouth. It felt so good to have the kindest not to mention sexiest man in this city to sleep next to me, knowing I would feel secure in his embrace every time I drifted off because he would chase away all my nightmares. What did I do to deserve a man like this? Shut off those doubts and answer the damn phone Monroe!

Grabbing the silver color device, I picked up finally. My nasty habit, always greeted others at the other end of the line in professional slash work mode.

"Monroe."

My frustration from earlier when the chirping sound disturbing my sleep was forgotten when I turned to face the practically naked man sleeping next to me. He looked like a child, his feature so soft totally different from the man I saw during the day.

"It's Mac. Look I'm sorry to call at this hour but we got one fresh body in Manhattan. I just sent Hawkes home so you're the only one who's available. Flack, Stella and I stuck with another crime scene but we'll come over once we're done here." Mac said.

"Sure, I'll be there right away." I got off the phone and placed it back on the nightstand.

"Hmm… who's calling?" Danny murmured, eyes still closed.

I smiled, he was the sweetest guy I ever knew. I cupped his face with my hands and kissed his soft lips. Every time I saw his lips, I couldn't resist tasting it and the feeling was always great. No wonder whenever I saw him licked his lips, I felt a strong impulse flickered inside me. This short but sweet moment was not an exception, I suddenly felt energized.

"It's Mac. I've got to go. Go back to sleep, cowboy." I kissed him again.

"Well Montana, you're going to need to do more than that for me to let you go because you just ruined one of my best dreams." Danny said playfully, tightening his hands around my waist.

"Then cowboy, are you going to tell me what dream it is?" I asked mischievously.

He pretended to think for a moment then shook his head, "Umm…umm." Ooh ooh, not a good sign, he was thinking about something naughty.

"Then, what can I do to bribe you to let me go?" Two can play the game, Messer.

He moved closer and said, "For starter, you can tell me what you are giggling about in your sleep. You aren't dreaming about some other guys, are you?"

Cute, now he feigned hurt. You deserved an academy award for best actor, cowboy.

"Not when I have the one and only man I ever wanted sleeping next to me."

"Good answer. You pass the first Q & A test. Now last task before I let you go."

"What? Danny, I'm late. As much as I love spending all day with you, I've got to go. Weren't you sleeping soundly earlier, how in the earth you could hear me giggling?" I asked.

"How in the earth would I miss the moment catching the woman I love giggling foolishly?" He countered.

"I give up. What do you want, cowboy?" I surrendered or else I would hear from Mac.

"That's more like it. A nice promise lunch on you…" he trailed off waiting for my reply.

"Fine, now let me go before I got a lecture form Mac." I pleaded.

"Uhh…Uhh. Not so fast, Montana. You have to let me scrub your back too." He finished the sentence with a sly smile.

"I'm trap with a BIG BAD WOLF, just my luck." I rolled my eyes.

His eyes lit up, "Yes Montana. You stuck with me now I'll claim my prize."

His hands loosened, now was my chance. I slipped away from his arms and smirked.

He looked at me in awe. "Victory is mine, cowboy. Never underestimate the ability of a Monroe."

"You're lucky this time because my guard was down. You won't get away next time." He stated cockily.

I moved toward the bathroom and his eyes never once left my face so did the cocky smirk of his never escaped from his handsome face. His blues met my browns telling me he was expecting the words he wanted to hear from me and I wasn't going to let him down.

Just as I stepped inside the bathroom, I turned around and said cheekily, "Well what are you waiting for, cowboy? Aren't you going to scrub my back?"

* * *

Hopping into the SUV, I placed my kit at the passenger side and turned on the ignition. I remembered the words Danny said to me before I was out of my apartment, he really was a best guy I could ever get. I mean how many men would really care about someone enough to say 'Love ya and be safe' when she went out. Pulling out of the parking lot, I drove through the busy traffic even though now was 3 in the morning. What can I say, this is New York City where crime never sleep. Finally, one more turn I would see the crime scene. Hopefully, Mac and Stella weren't there yet or else I would have to face the boss for being late. 

Phew, no sign of two of them, I made it. The address led me to a typical two storey town house but now it had became a typical crime scene where the entrance was sealed by the yellow tape. There was a cruiser and two uniform officers guarding the entrance because the scene couldn't risk to be contaminated and it was their job to make sure it wouldn't.

Parking the car just before the yellow tape area, I got out, kit on one hand. I showed them my shield and greeted them before I stepped inside the crime scene. The house wasn't large and the first floor consisted a small living room and a packed kitchen. The first floor seemed undisturbed and just now one of the officers, Officer Henson informed me that the body was inside the bedroom on the second floor, I would say it was safe to presume that the bedroom might be the primary crime scene.

I set my foot on the step and began ascended the stairs, the creak of the floorboard was the only sound inside the quiet place. Even though I believed in science, I admitted that the creaking sound was a bit eerie.

Upstairs was made up of a bedroom and a bathroom. Inside the bedroom, all items including the victim were consumed by darkness and the only light source was the fluorescence light from the hallway.

Before I stepped inside the crime scene, I set down my kit, pulled out a new glove and slipped it onto my hands. Next, I fished out a flashlight and used its beam to search for the switch. Clicking it, the white fluorescence light illuminated the room. Now I had a clearer look at the room. The victim, Chloe Johnson was lying face down on the hardwood floor, a pool of dark crimson liquid was already staining the floorboard right under the upper torso. The only visible wound I could see was the long narrow mark on her neck which was probably made by a knife blade. Everything inside the room was still in place except the messy bed which showed the only sign of the victim trying to escape from her ill fate and apparently she failed miserably because she only manage to make a few steps away from the bed.

Like any other crime scene, I started processing the scene by snapping shots of the victim and the scene. Holding up the camera and focused on the subject, my index finger ready to hit the button when I heard a light thud then another which slightly louder than the first one. I put my task on hold and ready to check out the origin of the sounds, it was then the blackout happened. Immediately, I switch on the flashlight and placed the camera into my case.

"Officer Henson! Officer Graham! Is everything alright?" I called out.

Agitation began to flow inside my veins as the only reply I got was silence and I hated being in the I-know-nothing situation. Bracing myself, I released my 9 millimeter from the holster and aimed it at 90 degree which was the same thing I did with the flashlight before I got back out to the hallway slowly approaching the bathroom that was located next to the bedroom and to my relieve, it was cleared. The moment I stepped back out, I could hear the sound of dragging coming from downstairs. Was I imagining things? Why was the situation always worsened when I just got some of my cool back? Damn it!

The beam of the flashlight danced shakily and so did the tip of my weapon. Hell, my whole body was shaking with fear, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop them. Perspiration had my shirt glued to my shirt and worsened my already ruined mood. Sucked up one more breath, I knew I had no choice but to go down there. Repositioned myself, I once again moving at the hallway, this time I made small and slow steps toward the staircase. Silently counting one to three, I moved in a swift move, aiming both my gun and my only source of light toward the open space below me and my eyes caught nothing.

Swallowing down my panic, I descended as slow as I can. Creak. Creak. Creak. Damn, I curse this staircase. If somebody was down there waiting to jump me, I was giving my position away! Now I could only pray that I was imagining things, the officers might be away to check on the power supply and didn't hear me. Hell, if there was really someone down there, I hope he didn't have a weapon then I would have the advantage for being armed.

Reaching the final step, I finally got to the first floor and I turned 180 degree to move toward the entrance. I wanted to get out of here as fast as I could and wishing that my pray would be answer and meet the two officers again. The entrance was in sight, the moon cast solemn blue light diagonally through the gap between the wooden pane and the wide-opened door. Suddenly, my eyes caught something that sent chills down my spine. It was a tip of something black and when I was near enough to see what it was, my pupil widened in surprise. The object was the tip of the officer's shoe and its position told me the officer was lying outside but there was no telling whether he was alive or not. My mind wondered what happened to the other officer.

Stunned by the sight in front of me, I sensed movement behind me. I spun around and aimed the gun and the beam straight ahead. Too late, my mind screamed. Before I could digest what I was facing, a crystal glass vase came into contact with my head and it shattered right after it hit its target. My flashlight and gun fled from my hands and landed with a loud thud. Feeling the hot searing pain on the left side of my head, I lost my balance and landed hard on my backside. Warm crimson liquid flowing freely from my wound caused more obscurity to my already blurred vision. The attacker's face was blurry, but I could tell that it was a he and the man was big and quite tall. In addition, dizziness began to consume my consciousness. Not good, my mind screamed. I had no chance to win against my attacker and the only chance to survive was to get away and call for backup. Then it hit me that I had my cell phone with me but I couldn't use it right now, I must get to a safe place.

For the second time of the day, shocking situation happened right in front of my very eyes. The floorboard sounded when the silhouette making his way toward me and he pulled out a shiny object along the way. Is that a knife blade? God, he was the killer? Why is he still in the house? Wasn't the scene being cleared by the uniforms? Adrenaline helped me remained conscious and frantically I used my hand to search for my 9 millimeter in the darkness. Apparently I wasn't out of luck, the tips of my fingers found what I was looking for. Here was my chance, I leapt for my gun and just as I turned around to aim my target, his speed took me by surprise. I watched his strong arm grabbed my armed wrist and twisted it at an odd angle. I screamed in pain and dropped my only protection again. He used his knee to give me a blow on my jaw before it pinned me down by landing hard on my ribcage. Tears were filling the rims of my eyes, I was sure my ribcage was cracked if not broken.

Unwilling to give up just yet, I willed my free hand to punch my attacker but again my self-rescue attempt failed as his elbow hit my injured rib twice and again I yelled in pain. Darkness threatened to took over my mind but my strong will refused to give in. In my last attempt, I focused all my strength on my knee to give him a surprise attack on his back and it worked. My attacked rolled off me and hissed in pain. Seizing the opportunity, I got on my wobbly feet and ran as fast as I could toward the entrance but my rib refused to cooperate. Before I could get out, a hand pulled me by my collar and yanked me back onto the floor. The man blocked the entrance with the mass of his body and I got no choice but to run upstairs. The man acted at the same time I made my move.

The silhouette managed to get a hold of my ankle and tried to pull me down with force. Gripping my hand hard on the handrail, I gave him a kick on the head to free myself. I succeed and used the strength I had left to get to the bedroom not forgetting to lock it. Hopefully, the door could hang on until I managed to get some backup. Backup! I could phone someone for help now but to my horror, my cell phone wasn't with me anymore! I slipped to the floor slowly in frustration, not knowing what I could do. Mac, Stella and Flack would be my last resort now but I wondered whether God would allow me to wait for them. I made a quick inventory at myself, I wasn't in a good shape, far from it indeed. My head throbbing in pain, my ribs hurt like hell, my right wrist might be broken and my heart was going nonhuman as it was pounding crazily probably faster than a NASCAR and my whole body trembling in a way I had never experienced before.

In the darkness, I could only make out all the objects in shadow forms. My eyes shifted around and finally settled on the sight of the victim. I already knew that dying on the job was part of the risks from the first day I determined to become a CSI but right at this moment, I was not ready to die, not when I just began my promising relationship with the first man I ever madly in love with. Danny. The images of him appeared in my head had me realized that I was already missing his warm body. On the verge of crying, I wanted to see him so badly suddenly. I wondered whether I could keep my promise and treat him to a fine meal.

I had expected the attacker to knock the door down but when the banging started, it still startled me. Got up immediately, I used my own body to add more resistance for the door to open. With more force each time his body hit the door, I couldn't hold on for more than a few minutes. The door flew open sending me jerking backward against the cupboard. The man wasted no time this time and aimed the tip of the blade toward me and at the same time he said, "No more running and hiding, pretty cop lady." His cynical laughter echoed throughout the house.

I tried to duck but with a well-trained move, he pinned me down in the bed. Both his knees secured my hands and his body was atop of me creating no room for me to escape or fight back. Blood ran cold inside my veins when I knew I would share the same ill fate like the victim and probably worse than her. The sharp edge of the blade came down right in front of my eyes, my defense mechanism was triggered and I willed my left hand to break free and block his blade from making a hole in my chest. As we struggled, he switched the knife to his other hand in a swift move and jabbed it into my right thigh, my scream mixed with his laughter echoed through the entire house.

"This is what you get if you do not obey me. You should understand that there's no way you can get out alive. Why not let me grant you a better way to die?" His voice was hoarse.

Stubbornly, I used my forehead to knock his as hard as I could. Take that, you bastard. A Monroe wouldn't give up to some psycho. My foolish act only earned me more unbearable pain when he pulled out the blade and jabbed deeper into the same spot, this time with more force. The pain was so intense I almost passed out.

"That's it, bitch. You want a painful death so be it."

That mad man got off me and grabbed my injured leg before dragging me all the way through the hallway and then we went down the steps. With every step, my condition worsened as pain shot through my whole body and I could hardly tell which part hurt more and which didn't. Just when I thought all my hope had gone, the gun I lost caught my eyes. Wasting no time, my hand reached for it and without him noticed I fired at his shoulder catching him by surprise. He released my ankle immediately and went into hiding. I got up but my right thigh was too badly injured to function. Breathing had become a difficult task and my vision was worsening by the second but I couldn't afford to go down just yet. Knowing he would be hiding, waiting to finish me when I was too weak to fight him.

I couldn't take risk and I would have to bring him down when I had the upper hand. Approaching the kitchen, the cell phone that I lost just now shrieked. Putting my current task on hold, I traced its sound to the corner of the living room. Limping over, I grabbed my phone and held it to a distance where my blurred eyes could see. It said Mac. It was Mac. The backup I depended on.

Flipping the phone open, I had let my guard down and allowed the bastard to get behind me. Mac's voice could be heard in the silent atmosphere but I was too stunned to answer him. Goose bumps formed all over my upper torso when the sick bastard held the knife blade against my neck and hissed, "Say goodbye, detective." I watched what befell me in horror. In the last moment I got to see the reflection of his creepy dark eyes as his weapon acted as a mirror when it met with the beautiful moonlight before his sharp blade made a long slit across my neck. At that precise moment I too saw my own terrifying face reflected on his weapon. My blood made a spatter pattern that I often saw at the wall. Before I went down, the man gave me one last strike by grabbing my hair before using all his force to bang my head against the glass-made coffee table. It too shared the same fate as the crystal glass vase.

Satisfying with what he had done to me, convinced that I would not survive the injuries I sustained, he left me there to die. Even though my whole body went limp, my eyes could still manage to catch him left. I could no longer move any part of my body, not even an inch. As though the heat of my body went out along with my blood, I felt colder by the second as I was losing the warm liquid in a fast rate. Pool of dark red crimson formed under my paralyzed body soaking my clothes. Mac was still on the phone shouting words that I couldn't make out. Minutes later or even longer, siren could be heard and my half shut eyes could see the dancing red and blue light. Three figures appeared and one scooped my upper torso into her arms. Stella. Why was she crying? I wanted to ask her but found no stamina left to do so.

"Lindsay, hang on. Help is on the way. Stay with us kiddo." She said gently.

I had every intention to do so but I was too exhausted. I wanted to succumb to the darkness as it seemed to be a place where I could find peace and warm.

"Linds, keep awake. Danny is coming. You can't give up." Now was Flack's turn.

Danny. Danny. I wanted him here now so badly, I don't know how much longer I could remain conscious.

"How is she?" I heard Mac's voice but his feature was blurred.

I knew they were having conversation but their voices began to fade into the background. A familiar voice raised me up to the surface of the darkness just before I surrendered to the total darkness. That voice belonged to someone who I would do anything just to see him. An easy task of opening my eyes took more effort than I remembered but I did it anyway. His handsome face would be the last thing I wanted to see if this would be the last moment of my life.

"Da…nny." No kidding, I couldn't recognized my own voice.

Seeing him, I had no more reason to fight against the dark world that was more than welcome to have me. Little did I know, his name would be the last word I would ever say. Little did I know, this day would change my life forever. Again, I had survived a horrible crime but this time it left my life in a shattered mirror-like state. The day I learned that my life would be completely altered, I cursed that bastard. I cursed him for not making sure I was dead for good when he left.

* * *


	2. Breaking Dawn

Disclaimers: I owned the story but not the characters. Period.

Author's note: I have been slacking on updating my story and I owe a huge apology to all the readers. I'm currently running out of ideas for On the Edge:Restless but I'm working on it. Just to inform you guys that the story is currently on hiatus but will be back as soon as I'm able to finish its chapter 14. Thanks for sticking with me... You guys make me the happiest writer in this planet... At here, I give you a bow. Now I present you a new chapter.

For the following reviewers: daytimedrama, susan, prplerayne, rytanya and liffey. I love your reviews. I'm glad you guys love this story. I will try my best not to make it a boring story.

* * *

Eyes flew opened, from the position of lying on my stomach, I sat up in the darkness, heart still racing a hundred miles per second. Running my right hand down my face, I came to know that my hand was wetted with perspiration. I recalled nothing of what I was dreaming about again, the only thing I knew was it was terrifying enough to make my shirt soaked in sweat. After dazing a few seconds, I left my comfy queen sized bed and made my way to the window sill. Pulling both curtains sideway leaving a small gap in between, letting the breathtaking night view fell right in front of my squinted eyes, no matter how many times I had seen it, it never cease to amaze me. That was part of the reason I made it as my company whenever I was spending a lonely night after leaving Montana.

One year had passed since I was granted a second chance to live, a free boarding pass to come back from dead and join the living. That was the dawn of my miserable life and since then I had been wondering every single day when would the dusk come. Dawn, a perfectly suitable representation of the start of my new life as it was around that time I first woken up in the ICU and choking on the tube the doctors had inserted down my throat. Would dusk be the representation of my death in the future as well? I used to believe that nothing an optimism attitude couldn't heal but now I learned that it was easier to say than be actually doing it. Believe me, I had tried my hardest to see the good in my life but instead of keeping them, I pushed them away, more specifically, I pushed the best thing in my life away- Danny.

Since the day I discovered that my chance of recovering from severe damaged voice cord was almost as good as zero, I swore not to be a burden to anyone especially Danny, the only man that I would always love. He shouldn't be bound by an imperfect, broken woman like me and deserved a carefree life with someone else, someone who is perfect, someone who deserves his love more than I do. Daniel Messer, he really was a great man, the best a woman could ever get in fact. Over the year, he still hadn't given up and insisted to wait for the day I would change my mind and once again opened my heart to him, his will remained as solid as a rock since the day I brought up the inevitable subject. Parting with him was the toughest thing I ever did, tougher than doing those long hours of painful physiotherapy for one full year. What hurt me the most was not the process, it was his pain that I had swore not to cause, it was his broken heart that I had swore not to break but I had broken all my vows eventually. I called this part of my life irony.

Nothing was ever the same again. Who knew one night would change it all? One minute I thought I was going to be the happiest woman in this earth but the next left my life in a mess that I still had to deal with it until I had finished my one last breath. One minute I got to tease Danny and flirt with him but the next my voice would have to lock inside the prison of silence permanently. Who would have thought my life would change from ready to be with the guy I was sure is the one forever to shutting him out of my life. All the promises between us had vanished into thin air just over one night. I could no longer feel his warm body beside me, could no longer taste his sweet lips, and could no longer feel his magic touch. Maybe it was all a mistake from the beginning. Maybe a city boy wasn't destined to be with a country girl. Maybe it was a sign from God telling us that we were not meant for each other.

The mesmerizing scenery was a total contrast to the dark and gloomy weather inside me. Now and then, I would have nightmares about the violence assault even though I could not recall the details but it was enough to leave me stayed wide awake for the whole night every time I had them. Since the case of my friends' murders had been closed, I had hardly had any nightmares anymore but it returned with more vengeance after the attack. There was another good thing about the bright light city, it managed to soothe me whenever fear was eating me alive. Although Danny could do it more effectively, the view managed to have similar effect on my pounding heart. I had most of my control back on my heart rate, it was no longer surrendering to my inner fear.

I took a glance at the glowing digits, 4.30 am, it said. Time to go, it was the time again for my daily workout, a nice 5 miles jog. During my time of recovery, I had prepared myself for any worse case scenario in the future. I could not allow myself to be a liability to the team again especially after Mac and Stella had gone through a lot of trouble just to help me keep my job. I was given a chance to prove that I could still be an asset to the team during my three months probation. Now, all I had left were my job, friends and family, love was excluded from the list. I guessed the only thing that didn't change was my dedication and passion toward my job.

Inside the bathroom, I brushed my teeth and washed my face with icy cold water making me felt more refresh. Changing into a white tank top and a pair of matching black hooded sweatshirt and track pant, I stepped into my packed kitchen. At least a glass of milk everyday had become a habit since I was a kid. That was what you get when your family owned a ranch filled with cows, chickens and horses.

Making sure I had my cell phone, keys and my PDA with me, I put on my gray-tinted sunglasses and locked the door before getting into the elevator. If you are wondering why I need sunglasses at 4 pm in the morning, the answer to your question is photophobia. Yes, apparently photophobia was an aftermath effect due to the complications of my head trauma. If I could live with my disability, I definitely could handle photophobia. All I had to do was to avoid the once-friendly-but-now-not-so-friendly bright light such as sunlight.

Jogging always managed to rejuvenate my mind and soul. The dawn was breaking, the sun no longer hiding behind the moon and spread its orange all over the sky. As I jogged back to my apartment, I would stop at Luce's to get the freshly baked cinnamon pretzel and a cup of strong black coffee. It was also part of my daily routine now. Nothing felt better than having a decent breakfast after a good workout. Slightly uncomfortable with the sweat-soaked clothes, I decided it was time to take a bath. This was my first day back at the crime lab, my first day back in the field, I was not going to be late. I stripped until there was not a single piece of cloth left and stepped inside the shower enclosure. Turning on the tap, the running hot water splashed my body, washing away all the sweat and soot. After lathering my hair with shampoo and applying shower gels all over my body, I cleansed them under the water again before turning off the tap and stepped outside the shower to wrap myself with a layer of towel.

Looking myself in the mirror, I reassured myself that I was ready to go back to work and face the heinous crime in New York City. Opening my cupboard, I took out a white blouse, a leather jacket and a pin-stripe pant after choosing through them carefully. During the process of putting on my clothes in the order of from the bottom to the top, I couldn't fail to notice the scars on my right thigh. Every time I saw it, it always triggered the memory of the night I wished to forget but found it impossible as the memory itself had already been imprinted in my head for the rest of my life.

I repeated the same process before leaving my apartment but this time not forgetting clipping my shield and placing the holster at my waist. Reaching my final step to leave my building, I saw Danny standing against his SUV with an unsure look on his face through my gray lenses. One part of me was excited to see him but another part of me held me back. Unsure of what to choose between meeting him and avoiding him, I was totally zoning out at the front door. Out of surprise, a neighbor of mine made the decision when she opened the door and exposing me to Danny. Completely taken by surprise by the moment Danny greeted me with his 'good morning' and a charm smile, I could only faked a smile to cover my surprise and embarrassment.

"Montana, are you okay? Your face seems kinda flush." Still sweet and caring as ever.

I'm fine. I signed.

I knew he would understand the sign language as Mac told me that he and Stella had made the effort to learn the language in order to communicate better with me. I was thankful to have friends who treated me like one of their own. Speaking of family reminded me of my parents. During my time of recovery, my concerned parents wanted me to quit my job and go back to Montana as they were unwilling to go through the whole scaring-them-to-death ordeal again. They gave up eventually knowing I was too hardheaded to obey them once I had made up my mind. Once again, I had to say the words 'I'm sorry' which I often said whenever I did something they disapproved. I hadn't said these words since the first time I left home for New York. Knowing I would have a family to take good care of me, they tolerated my willfulness one more time.

What are you doing here? I asked him.

"I'm going to give you a ride to work on your first day back." He said casually.

Danny, I don't need a babysitter. I'm mute but I'm not paralyzed for god's sake. I can get myself to work! I gesture.

I could see he was slightly taken aback by my outburst and he was hurt by my choice of words. I immediately regretted of my own sensitivity toward a simple matter of Danny being nice to me. I wanted so much to hit myself for my own stupidity but nothing could undo the damage.

I'm sorry. I'm a bit grouchy today.

"Don't worry, Montana. Let's get inside the car or else we're going to be late." The charm smile again.

Right after I got into the car, I smelled the scent of Luce's cinnamon pretzel and his black coffee. Reading me like a book as always, he passed me the white paper bag knowing I had found out. I beamed him a smile for his thoughtfulness. Although I had had my breakfast, I was more than willing to accept his kindness. That was not the only thing he did for me, I realized the windows of his car were tinted with darker color. Two mixing feeling swirling inside me, one was appreciation and another was irritation. This was what I meant when I said I did want to be a burden, I didn't need sympathy and special treatment from anybody and all I wanted was to feel normal. Learning from the previous lesson, I kept my comment to myself.

"Anxious to go back to work?" He attempted to break the silence.

I answered him with a nod.

Seeing that I wasn't exactly in the mood for conversation, he remained silent all the way to the crime lab.

Nervous didn't even begin to describe what I was feeling when the crime lab was in sight. Every step closer to the place I worked, my heart rate increased but at the same time making me realized how much I missed work after on leave for a year. Nothing changed inside the building, it was the same hallway and the same faces I saw a year ago. The only thing that changed was the way the detectives and the lab techs looked at me. Feeling a hand grasped mine, I turned to Danny who was walking along side with me. I knew it was his gesture of showing support and soothing me, I nodded at him. Taking the elevator up, I came to know that Danny and I were still holding hand and I released his immediately. Heat rose to my cheeks, I suddenly self-aware that I was blushing. Using my hand as a cover, I placed it on the right side of my face hoping Danny hadn't caught that. The moment I saw Danny smiling cheekily, I knew he didn't miss my little embarrassed incident and I hated him for that. Why did he always manage to catch me doing things like that?

I hit his shoulder playfully and using the slicing movement to tell him to cut it off. It went wrong completely, he burst into laughing out loud and could no longer compressed it.

What's so funny? I shot him a death glare.

That did it. He toned it down and his laughter died down eventually.

The elevator reached our floor with a 'ding' and opened its doors, both of us got out and went straight to Mac's office. On the way, Adam and others lab techs sent their regards. Boy, how much I missed working with them. Upon reaching it, Danny put both his hands on my shoulder, nodding his head at me, giving me his full support and left for the break room. Swallowing down my nervousness, I held up my hand to knock on the door but just before I hit it, Mac gave me the permission to go in. Alone inside this room with him reminded me of the first time I met him on the tiger case.

"Sit down, Lindsay." Mac said.

I complied. Hands entangled on my laps. All this moment had I recalled back all my meetings with the school principal for making pranks on my teachers during my rebellious days.

"Welcome back. I know you won't like this but I'll need you to do a psych evaluation. As you have already known, you'll have to pass your three months probation to keep your position. That is the best I can do."

I nodded understandingly. I was glad I could still keep my job. I knew most of the credits went to Mac.

Thank you. I signed.

"You're welcome, Lindsay." That was a surprise, he knew what I was saying.

Mac got up and gave me a hug. "It's good to have you back. Let's go to the break room, everyone is eager to see you."

I nodded again. I would say the same thing about that. In my time of recovery, I had pretty much avoided them since I didn't want them to see me in the state of devastation. Still, they were very supportive, visiting me every now and then. I couldn't help but smile at the sight of the banner with the big letters on it saying, 'WELCOME BACK KIDDO'. That just told me that Stella was the one who did that. After exchanging hugs and kisses, a call to Mac had us all turned back into work mode.

"There's a robbery in Queens left three dead and five injured. The robbers had the money and are still in the wind. This is a high profile case and I need all of you in this one." Mac stated.

I doubted my own ears. Was I included in this case? After all this was my first day back, I'd understand if I had to stay here.

It was the Mac focused his gaze on me and said, "Ready to be back in the field?"

I nodded excitedly. It was going to be a long day.

* * *

Review please... I love them... one push at the button... one message ... light up my day!!! 


	3. Past and Present

Disclaimers: Plot belongs to me but anything else such as characters and copyright of the show belong to CBS.

Author's Note: Sorry for taking so long to update but ideas flow in quite slow recently so thanks for sticking with me is all I can say. Thanks for those incredible reviews that do more than brightening my day so all I can do is posting up a chapter so here I am. Enjoy...

* * *

My hands were entangling and untangling repeatedly, a gesture I unconsciously showing when I was nervous. I was fidgeting in the back seat all the while Flack was handling the wheel and Stella sitting beside him, stealing glances at me every few minutes. Even with his hands and eyes occupied, Flack too couldn't stop checking up on me through the rear view mirror. Whenever I caught them doing so, they would turn their gaze somewhere else but after a while they would start all over again. This had been going on from the seconds I got the case file and now we were already halfway through. Okay, I was beginning to switch from nervous as hell to paranoid to death. I knew they were worrying over my reaction toward the place we were heading or maybe even concerned about my personal feeling toward the case which might be hitting a little too close to home. Alright, I had enough, that's it. 

Both of you, I indicated with my index finger at Flack then Stella.

Stella gave me an I-just-play-it-off look and Flack pointed at himself with his index finger mutely asking whether I was talking to him.

I nodded at both of them and signed in frustration. Guys, stop checking up on me every few seconds. I appreciate your concerns but really I'm fine. Can we continue the remaining 15 minutes car ride without your eyes on me?

Confusion had crept its way all over Flack's face the moment I began my hand speaking show. Well, that was understandable since Flack was a no nonsense kind of cop and sign language might just be the last thing on his to-do list.

"What is she talking about, Stel? Gosh, I should really learn the language sometimes, the least I would know when you guys talk bad things about me." There, typical Flack's morning sense of humor.

Stella let out a long breath then translated what I had just said to the clueless man before turning back to me.

"Lindsay, I shouldn't have involved you in this case. You might not be ready for cases like this, I should have got you off the case and handle this on my own." She said, tone stressed in regret.

Stel, Flack. Guys, I can handle this. I assured them.

Maybe my body language told them otherwise because their face displayed an I-don't-believe-that-for-a-second look but at least they had stopped doing their famous I'm-watching-you thingy. Maybe I wasn't exactly a convincing liar because the truth was even myself couldn't be sure that I was ready to face whatever was ahead waiting in this case. Maybe they were right, I shouldn't involved in this at all but I just couldn't let myself defeated by a sexual assault case which was the crime I had investigated a millionth time in my line of work and I couldn't miss this valuable chance to prove myself to the people who had faith in me enough to give me a second chance but most importantly, I had to get my confidence back to convince myself that I still had what it takes to be a good CSI and also confronting my own fears that I had kept surrendering to. This was a battle against my inner fears which I had to win on my own.

My grasp at my own hands tightened at the sight of the hospital, the force was strong enough to leave five bruise prints at the back of my palm. My heart was running like an untamed horse being threatened, acting all agitated and violent. Suddenly, I came to the fact that I was suffocating as if my airway was being crushed and misted perspiration felt cold on my skin. Breathe, Monroe. Just breathe, you can do this. You are fine, do the inhale and exhale thingy you learned from your sister-in-laws pregnancy classes. Whoa, I'm losing my mind, I'm talking to myself in my head for god's sake. I questioned my own sanity but at least that method worked for my neurons. Right at this moment, a trip to psychology department didn't sound too bad of an idea to me. Finally, I snapped out of my own trance to find two pairs of undeniably concerned eyes staring at me for god knows how long.

I waved my hand. Never mind me, I said.

They exchanged a shrugged gesture with each other and then Flack killed the engine. The three of us hopped out of the cruiser almost the same time and closed the door with quite a loud bang, catching us quite some audience. Both Stella and Flack took the lead but my feet stayed still and my body froze when my eyes took in the white building. Okay, I admitted that I wasn't as ready as I thought, far from that in fact. Aside from reminding myself that I was a violence assault victim, I realized I was afraid that I would lose self-control once I see the victim.

Exiting from my deep thought, I felt a pair of warm hands placed on my shoulders, shaking me with the lightest force. My vision went from blackness to blur and lastly back to visible again. Hearing my own name, I looked at the face of Stella who called out to me, offering no reply. Still feeling a little disoriented, I knew I was worrying others with my on and off falling in deep thought behavior which would result in giving no response to everything happened around me.

Feeling my focus was on her, Stella cupped my face with her hands, "Talk to me, kiddo."

Responding to her, I held hers in my own sweaty cold palms. Her hands was like a reminder of Danny's magic touch except they felt different, they were warmth, something you would only get from your family, something only the ones who truly care would give you. Get a grip, Monroe. You vowed not to be a burden, not to be a liability, is this what you want to be, a weakling like a piece of fragile glass who need protection all the time? I felt my grip enclosed with much more strength. No, I don't want to be defeated by my weakness. Then, fight it, the voice from my hind brain told me.

"You sure you're okay? You look pale, why don't you take a day off and get some rest? I can do this with Flack. Hey, I can understand what you have been through."

Yeah, Stella was a victim herself. Things could be even harder for her since her attacker was her ex-boyfriend and she was forced to shoot him. Realizing this, I understood that she had been handling her emotions well enough not to let it clouded her judgment like last time. I was beginning to comprehend what she felt during that time. She really did deserve the nickname, Statue of Liberty. Other than that, Stella really liked a sister that I'd never had. She treated people like one of her own, stood by them when they needed, stayed with them when they were lonely and she cared for others more than she cared for herself. Her selflessness and care had me learned the meaning of a true friend, she was someone I could trust with my own life.

I turned to Flack who had equally concern about my well-being and then back to Stella.

I released my hands in order to be able to talk to them. No, I want to do this. Please, let me do this. I pleaded.

Instead of giving any response, Stella just looked at me, her eyebrows arched, seemingly struggling between respecting my decision or taking me off this case for my own benefit.

Flack on the other hand seemed to understand part of what I had just said, "You want to work on this?"

I nodded, hoping to have his support.

"You're sure?" I didn't sense skepticism in his tone. That was a good sign.

"What do you think, Stel?"

Stella turned to Flack and then got her attention back to me again.

Please, Stel. If I don't do this, I can never do it. Besides, I'm not alone in this, I'll be fine. Let me do this.

My never wavered determination seemed to convince Stella to allow me to stay on the case. "But if you feel uncomfortable with the victim, you can get back out anytime and process the evidence we gather in the lab." She added.

Thanks, Stel, Flack. I don't think I can do this without you guys.

Again, they led the way, leading me walking through the long hallway inside the hospital with their moral support. The second I stepped into the ICU section, every bits and pieces of my own experiences struck me in full force even though I had two tough companions with me. The scent of antiseptic, the creepy white walls, the personnel who dressed in white and the too eerily silence hung heavily in the air which only allowed a few whispering voices to penetrate once in a while were all too familiar. Nothing had changed, everything remained the same like a year ago when I was one of the patients in this section. My body didn't stayed still this time instead it followed the lead with its own will since my mind was too busy drifting inside the raw memory.

I remembered witnessing the conversation between Stella and the victim's doctor. From the doctor, we learned the cruelness and inhumane things the rapist had done to the victim. So far, we knew that he kidnapped her to an abandoned building where he executed a series of torturing and not forgetting raping her again and again and finally left her to die after he had done with her. The ordeal had left the victim of twenty-year-old, Zoe Adkins, dozens of cuts and bruises, scars and of course an emotional trauma she might never recover from. She was still being placed in this section to stabilize her condition but a brief meeting with the patient was allowed. Furthermore, we were being warned about her emotional state.

Upon going in, Stella asked me again whether I preferred to watch from the outside and I refused without hesitation. Through the glass, I took in the fragile victim. Her fair pale skin was only slightly visible under the heavily bandaged body. Her arm and both legs were in cast and red purplish bruises were visible all over her beautiful but swollen face. She now looked like something out of the movie, The Mummy. I wondered how much pain she would have to endure if she was awakened. At the sight of Zoe, I could already felt the pain she went through and undoubtedly this young lady had gone through hell, she had gone through something much worse than me. At the thought of this lady would have to share the similar fate with me saddened me, at the thought of this lady would have to live with the terrible and horrified memory till she was laid to rest killed me.

Holding off those thoughts, I followed Stella and Flack into the private room. As the doctor predicted, the patient had awoke after sensing our presence in the room. Flack started the normal procedure by telling her our identities and the purpose of this visit. Knowing what she was about to face, she couldn't control her floodgate and tears began to dampened her cheeks which did nothing to beautify her face but depressing the atmosphere. Given adequate amount of time, her series of hiccup had turned from violent to slow with the help of Stella's soothing skill. Eventually, she was ready to face the hardest part of the day which was retelling the whole incident, retelling her most horrible time in her life in sequence as detail as possible. I got out a Dictaphone to record what she was about to say, that was the least I could do since I understood that it would be too hard on Zoe to have her repeat the whole process again.

"Whenever you are ready," Flack said.

Zoe nodded. Lips still trembling, not knowing where to start and decided to begin with, "I…I was leaving… the groceries store… when he grabbed me…grabbed me from behind."

Stella rubbed Zoe's hand in hers, soothing the shaking woman.

She continued. "When I woke up, I… I was… tied to a rack… naked. He… he was smiling at me… staring at my body… like a piece of art. Then, he began to… touch me… moving his dirty hands all over me… the next thing I knew, he put his fist inside me… you know… taunted me with pain." It ended with her loud uncontrollable sobs.

I winced seeing the marks on her non cast hand that was left by the ropes, it indicated that she was struggling with it, trying to get free.

Stella helped her wiped the tears and told her, "It's okay. You don't have to force yourself. We can do this next time."

My fists enclosed with force I never knew I had at my both sides and my teeth clenched so hard I surprised they didn't broken off. My whole body was trembling with anger, every part of me was burning on rage after learning the perverted bastard's ill treatment toward a powerless woman. At the same time, I relived the powerless moment of my own when I fought against my attacker. My anger had switched from rage to defeat, my confidence from earlier had wavered, I was losing the battle.

"I thought…" Zoe had my attention back on her.

"I thought he had done but then he… took off his clothes… and… got on top of me… and forced himself into me hard… I… I remembered screaming but… he ignored me and continued with more force every time… until I fainted. During that time… if I refuse to cooperate, he… would whip me, cut me with razor blade… and… even gave me a good beat." She had launched her upper body into Stella's arms.

That was it. I had heard enough. The images of Zoe being tortured by that monster filled the gap in my skull. Struggling with the nausea that arouse along with the images, I realized it was impossible to fight it as long as I stayed in the room which led me to run out of there leaving behind the shocking Stella, Flack and Zoe. Touching my own forehead, I plopped down onto one of the orange plastic chairs. What the hell were you doing? I had no answer for that. I laughed bitterly. I was really going insane.

Having no clue what to do with myself, I took off the glasses and covered my eyes with my palms. Hearing a door being opened, I looked up and saw the whole team including Mac circling around the bed forming a half rectangle through the gap before the door was closed again. When did they get here? Were they here to see Zoe? But why? Intrigued, I got up and went inside the room again but to my shock, I was looking at myself lying in the bed with a tube down my throat and wires attached to my body. Their faces were solemn and everyone was quiet. What was going on? Before I could ask, I felt a force drawn me into me who was lying there motionless. First, it was bright light but it went dark soon after. What happened after was just like watching clips which was actually part of my life.

The strong light appeared again but this time it was bright enough to give me migraine before I could understand what was going on around me. I heard some voices, something about 'awake' and 'close the blinds'. My eyes still found the white light too bright, it was then I heard a man said, "Switch off the light." I could finally open my eyes better but I had another panic attack, I couldn't breathe as if something was choking me in my throat. Yes, I felt something down my throat, I couldn't breathe, help! Eyes still adjusting to the surrounding, I tried to move my hands but it seemed like only one of them functioned so I just willed it to my mouth trying to pull out whatever was suffocating me.

Pretty much still blinded, I felt my hand being grabbed by someone, hindering me from freeing myself. Panic cruised through my whole body. I was suffocating, I couldn't breathe and I was going to die. A voice calmed me down, a name had me stopped fighting, only a man could do that.

"Lindsay baby, stop. You're okay. I know the tube is suffocating you but if you could just relax and go along with it, you can breathe." He whispered to my ear.

It really was Danny. I wasn't dreaming or hallucinating. I could feel his hand touching my hair, his thumb running back and forth between my forehead and my hairline, soothing me in his unique way. He was right, I could breathe, I could feel oxygen went through my airway but again when had Danny ever been wrong about something. Opening my eyes to the dark room, I could easily recognize everyone in here. For the first time, I felt my whole body was wrecked with pain as if I was on fire. The burning sensation in my throat intensified every second and was getting more unbearable. What was going on? This question had been playing in my head since I experienced a weird phenomenon but my lids weighted like a ton suddenly. Since then, I kept slipping in and out of conscious, not really knowing what happened around me.

Eventually, I did regained full consciousness and was able to sit up after a few days or a week or even more. It was around that time I began to notice everyone's grim face in the dim room. Aside sensing relief from them probably happy that I awoke, their eyes also displayed hesitation which puzzled my throbbing head. The burning pain still lingered around every inch of my body especially my heavily bandaged throat but the meds had done quite a good job relieving it. Before I had a chance to pop the questions, the doctor had come into the picture doing the check up routine.

Making up my mind, I used my free hand to scribble the question on the post-it-note, popping my puzzle to the doctor instead of my new found family.

How is my recovery, Dr Larson? I wrote.

"Detective Monroe…" He hesitated and turned to see the others.

Getting a nod from Mac, he continued, "I think there'll no problem for you to make a full recovery but considering the injury your leg sustained, you'll need to do physiotherapy for at least six month or more…" he trailed off.

Impatiently, I asked another question. When will I be able to talk? I wrote.

"Well… this is the hard part. The truth is detective, your voice cord sustained severe damage and I'm afraid you'll lose the ability to speak."

Those words had I understand the hesitant look on everyone's face, and also had I froze. I would lose my ability to speak, the words played in my mind over and over again. What happened in that room next, I could hardly recall, I just stayed frozen until Danny placed one hand on my shoulder which I jerked off immediately. I knew what I did could hurt him but I couldn't care about anything else in this shocking state and I needed time to digest this piece of news, alone.

Shakily, I wrote. Can you guys leave me the room? I'd like to be alone.

I got nods from all except Danny who I could tell desperately wanted to stay.

He began, "Lindsay…"

I cut him off with my tears filled eyes, silently pleading him to leave the room. I couldn't face anyone right now. I could get too emotional and I had to use every ounce of my will not to break down in front of anyone when the doctor broke the news. Please Danny, I begged inaudibly with my watery hazel eyes, get out before I can't control myself.

A sense of comprehension displayed in his sapphire blue eyes and said, "I'll be outside if you need me. I'll be outside anytime you need me."

I could not restraint my floodgate anymore once Danny was gone. My hand gripped the blanket that covered my legs hard enough to turn my knuckles almost the color of the hospital wall, tears free fell on my hand. In my head, everything was a mess and it only allowed the thought of me not going to speak again played over and over again.

Darkness appeared again when I felt someone's hand on my shoulder and heard an almost inaudibly voice. Removed my hands on my face, I saw Flack squatting in front of me, asking if I was okay. That was when I realized I was revisiting my own memories in this hospital. Blinded, I placed my sunglasses back on.

Moving my lips, I formed the three inaudibly words, I was fine. Flack may not be a lips reading expert but a simple three words would be a piece of cake for the witty detective. He might knew me better than I thought as I watched him plopped down next to me, seemingly wanted to keep me company and make sure I was okay. His silent presence was highly appreciated and amazingly soothing. All I needed now was someone to be here with me. No conversation, no questioning needed, just plain old sitting here with me. I was tired, I was exhausted by the battle against myself, I was sick of holding on to this new life of mine that I was still trying my hardest to get used to, a pathetic life without Danny being a part of it, but giving up without a fight wasn't the nature of a Monroe.

At the thought of this, my mind consciously took me back to the day when I frozen my heart and did something I would regret for the rest of my life. The day I discharged was the day I left a scar on the heart of the man I would ever love in this life. The clips of my life rewound in my head but yet it seemed present in front of my eyes. I was transported in the room that I had gotten so familiar after staying for two months and I was looking at an awfully familiar woman was helped by a nurse to a wheel chair as a feeling of déjà vu swept past me.

I knew all the sequence of this clips too well it had imprinted in my brain storage, struck me out of the blue every now and then and the wound it left me still felt raw in its every attack. Like I had already known, Danny walked into the room with his wide sexy grin which would soon collapsed by the words that would come from the hazel eyes woman's mouth.

"Montana, eager to be out of here?" Danny said triumphantly.

Apparently, his enthusiasm wasn't shared by the woman who only looked at him with a stern look, the expression was unreadable. I could see from behind the woman that Danny's grin was beginning to waver but that didn't stop him to go behind the woman, having every intention to get her out of here. Grabbing her bag with one hand, he used both to hold the handle of her wheel chair and began to wheel her out. I followed them from behind, knowing I could only play the role of an invisible observer even though I wished I could minimize the damage was about to inflict on him but what had done in the past would never be altered.

Almost as soon as they stepped outside, the still woman reached up and grasped Danny's hand, signaling him to stop. He bent down to her level in front of her, his expression was gentle. His softness and gentleness was making it harder for the woman to do what she was about to do.

"Yes, Lindsay?" Even his tone was gentle.

Now I was standing behind Danny, looking down at the woman before me, looking at the woman who became me in the present, seeing myself in my past. It felt like looking at my own reflection in the mirror but it wasn't reflecting the present instead it mirrored my past. I saw my own hesitation in my eyes, caught the determination from the entangled hands on my laps when Danny waiting for me to reply, when I was about to break all my promises to Danny.

Watching, I saw myself fished out a small notepad and wrote the first hurtful sentence then showing it to Danny.

Danny, I can't do this anymore. He read.

I didn't need to see to know the words because every heart scarring word had engraved in my mind.

Even though I couldn't see his face with his back facing me, I remembered every expression and every word of his. I knew he was confused by this sentence.

"Can't do what, Lindsay?" His tone remained gentle as ever.

The next sentence was 'Us. I can't be with you anymore.'

It was then his tone turned a little harsher and his expression changed into surprise. "Why? Why, Lindsay?"

I watched myself paused. Yeah, that was a good question. Why? Instead of writing 'I don't want to be a burden' I wrote 'I don't want to be with you anymore' to have a clean break up and the only way to do it was to hurt him. If that was the only way to free him from me, I was more than willing to do it even though I would end up hurting him and killing me.

"Is that your way of telling me that you don't love me anymore?" The hurt he felt was visibly painted on his face. His sparkling blue eyes were dulled by his pain.

The woman I used to be lowered her gaze, refused to see the damage she had done and nodded lightly.

"No, you're lying. We love each other and you know that. You just want to push me away because you don't want to be burden. You know what? You won't get rid of me that easily unless you can come up with something better." Danny said bitterly.

Yeah, I remembered this part where Danny amazed me with his strong determination but at the same time prolonged the whole heart shattering process. He was really hard to get rid of even if you treated him like some gum on random sidewalk. If that was the case, I would have to be cold to him and I did.

Again, I saw myself put up a cold exterior and scribbled every word on the notepad with more strength as I felt invisible obstacle hindering me from completing those words.

Don't you get it, Danny? I admit I was touched when you fled to Montana to support me and I decided to try out a relationship with you but after all this I realized that I don't love you as much as I thought. Besides, I don't need your sympathy just because I'm dumb. Why don't we just end this thing now knowing we'll do sooner or later?

"No, this is all a lie. Look me in the eyes Lindsay, and tell me you don't love me anymore. Look at me and tell me that if that's really how you feel!" He lifted the chin of the woman before him.

That was the only time I was grateful to be photophobic as my teary eyes hid behind the dark lenses, giving me more courage to form the soundless words with my mouth. During all the time, a voice from my hind brain told me that what I was doing was for Danny's sake.

I could tell he was defeated. Inaudibly words were no different to Danny, they were able to break his heart and brought tears to his usually mesmerizing blues. The tears I held back during that time were not lessened than his and I felt thankful toward the lenses for being my barrier during his presence. Gathering some strength and still withholding the tears, I wrote something again before I lifted his head and showed him.

I'm sorry to hurt you. I wish to do this in a better way but things went out wrong. You're a good man and you'll find a better woman than me. Don't waste any more time on me.

"You're the only woman I want, Lindsay Monroe. I know you better than you think. I understand that you don't want to be a burden to me but you're not. I'll always be here for you even if you don't love me anymore. That just mean I'll have to make me fall in love with me all over again. I want you to know that I won't give up." Danny said stubbornly.

What did I do to deserve a man like Danny? He could pick any girl he wanted in this city and yet he was willing to give up all that for an average nobody like me? I was moved by him but my country girl's stubbornness didn't allow me to soften my heart.

Over the paper, I observed myself telling him that we were over and nothing that he did would change that fact. His face told me that he was tired of the argument which would lead to nowhere and he also knew me enough to know I wouldn't change my mind once I had made a decision. He reluctantly accepted the reality but I also knew him better to know that he wouldn't back down so easily.

"Let's get you home." He offered.

Mentioning that Stella would be here for me, I sensed his pain and I felt terrible like I had betrayed him in some point.

Now that his heart was totally crumbled by me, he turned around and walked through the long hallway wordlessly. Still observing the two, I looked at the now breaking down woman in wheel chair and Danny's retreated back. His broad muscular shoulder was now sagged and his gloomy retreating back displayed his indescribable sadness. Someone voice was heard, it was my own voice. It was impossible, I couldn't speak anymore. That's was my voice from my heart, I could hear it.

Lindsay Monroe you're a terrible person. You hurt him once when you pushed him away the first time when you were not ready to be with him and now you hurt him again. You're a loser!

It was then I realized all these were the voices of the heart from the woman before me. I remembered now that these words were exactly how I felt when I sat on the wheel chair watching Danny walked away with a wounded heart. Snapping back to the present, no longer trapped in my mind, the words still echoed in my head.

I laughed bitterly. I was a loser. No, I still am a loser.

* * *

So what do think of this chapter... I'm dying to know your thoughts... REVIEW!! 


	4. Special Delivery

**Disclaimers: Can't afford to own CBS so no I don't own anything except the plot of this story. Please don't sue.**

**Author's Note: BIG APOLOGY for not being able to update in such a long time. Happy to see many reviews and supporters of this story and a bit proud over this little achievement and of course i owe this all to you guys... Thank you. This chapter is a bit short but lots of DL so hopefully it doesn't disappoint readers and DL supporters. Future update might be slow but I won't give up this story. Any thought on how this story should go?? Feel free to let me know... **

* * *

Nothing, no fiber, not a drop of blood, no bodily fluid, not even a single trace, I tossed the crime scene photos on my messy desk, sighing in defeat. How am I going to seek justice for Zoe Adkins while I kept hitting dead end in this case? All these bumps had chased away my appetite, my sleepiness and only making the pot of coffee more appealing as my sleepless hours kept going up. Speaking of my newest craving, I need another refill, maybe a break could help me find a breakthrough in this case.

Standing up, I realized how stiff my body had become from all those hours of sitting sifting through the evidence. Walking in the hall, I noted I had the lab all by myself, not a single person in the lab, not even Mac who had known to be the last person to leave work. Searching in my head, I did vaguely remember hearing Mac telling me to go home when he was about to leave earlier. Well, apparently his advice fell on deaf ear. On the down low, no making a beeline for Mr. Coffee, I could have it all by myself. Dreamingly thinking of the rich black liquid, I make my way into the break room only to have my dream shattered.

Empty pot, not even a drop and the crime lab had run out of coffee. There goes my break. Wait a minute, was I hallucinating due to my uncontrollable craving or I did smell real coffee? My nose perked at the strong aroma, turning around to search for it, instead of the subject catching my eyes, the figure had my attention.

What are you doing here? I inquired.

"Special delivery to a stubborn workaholic." He lifted up slightly the rather large brown paper bag.

Stubborn workaholic, huh? I would much prefer Montana. Of course I would never admit I loved that nickname, well not to him anyway. Doing that would only inflate his ego further, as if his were not big enough to be handled at the moment.

A strange sound was heard made me groaned inwardly. Danny too heard that and his gaze tried to follow that sound and ended up looking at me with much amusement. I almost had an impulse to hit my stomach for not picking the right time to growl but refrained myself to do so before ended up entertaining the annoyingly arrogant ex-boyfriend of mine further more.

Heat rose to my cheeks, I refused to look at Danny directly because somehow I was sure he would be smirking right now thinking he had showed up at the right time saving me, the damsel in distress. But that arrogant ex-boyfriend had brought something that tempted me to jump in front of him, giving him a big hug, (cough) I meant hug that existed between two close friends, I debated against myself.

"You haven't had your dinner?" He spoke softly, totally out of my prediction, which contained the images of him teasing me.

My gaze made its' way to his face and none of his feature showing sign of smirking and teasing I expected instead the concern had painted his always-perfect-face. His eyes held my gaze and I found my body immune system weakening against him.

"Linds… Lindsay" His voice penetrated through my trance.

My dilated pupils were able to focus again and found myself being caught staring. Errgh, I hated (loved) his blue eyes. If I was blushing before, now my face must have been reddened like a ripe tomato.

Yeah, I'm starving… so what?! I said. I couldn't believe myself pouting, turning away and standing arms crossed, showing off extremely childish behavior.

"So now that's where my special delivery comes into the picture." He said proudly, taking out a couple of Tupperware and a thermal bottle from the paper bag onto the table.

Sitting himself down on the chair, Danny watched the standing me with the same amusement, "Well, are you going to sit down and eat? I bet you don't have anything inside your stomach for almost a day, I would be starving if I were you."

I wanted to deny and make more argument but my stomach had once again betrayed me. "Come on." Smiling, he came to invite me again, grabbing my hand and leading me to my seat.

When both of us were seated, he opened the lids of Tupperware one by one, revealing meatballs pasta and cannolis. They smelled great and looking so tempting my stomach couldn't help but protested once more for not putting in the food. Pouring out the coffee, Danny handed me my mug. One of my five senses took in the aroma and one sniff, just one had enough to cloud my mind not letting me to overanalyze, which was not a bad thing.

One sip, my body cells had stopped all the protesting and screaming 'I'm revived' happily. Unknown to me, my mouth had arched upward forming a satisfying smile. Maybe smile was contagious after all, I found one charming one on Danny's face too.

You made all this? I asked out of curiosity.

A nod was all I got and my share of pasta was handed out to me which I gladly accepted. "Eat and that's all I need from you as thank you." He said.

Placing my hand on top of his, I said thank you wholeheartedly with an addition of a smile. He seemed quite shocked at my sudden move but quickly softened into an equally smile. How could I be heartless after hearing him saying that? If we weren't broken up now, I would have repay him with a kiss or more but I could do no more than a thank you for his unique city boy gentleness.

I had never known Danny to be able to make mean pasta and cannolis. After one taste of them, I was falling in love with Italian food. 'Mama Recipe' was all I could probe from his sealed lips but he did promise to show me when we had the chance and I was already eagerly waiting for that day he kept his promise. Whether it was the food or the chance to spend time with Danny formed my eagerness, I had left it unanswered.

While eating in silence, I brought up my previous question again though I was pretty sure I knew the answer already.

Danny, what brings you here in the first place? I asked.

"Like I told you before, I'm being the most handsome delivery boy in this city for a beautiful country girl." His ego was still as big as ever.

I had to laugh at him being his boosted-self again. I always liked the always overconfident side of him. It was one of those things I loved about him although I did find his arrogant attitude annoying in the first place.

Really, why did you come back to the lab? You heard about Zoe Adkins from Flack, didn't you?

His smile faded and couldn't deny anymore and answered me with a nod.

You would come here because you think the case is too much for me and you're worry?

Another nod. For a few seconds, he didn't look up from the table and when he did, he asked, "Aren't you mad?"

I shook my head. Why should I be?

"For me being nosy and not believing in you being able to handle the case."

Well, I can't bring myself to be mad when you're genuinely concern about me and I admit this case is haunting me. I had been through similar experience the victim had.

"You can pull yourself out if you just tell Mac the truth, he'll understand…"

No, I cut him off. I want to be in this case. I want to do this for Zoe, for myself. Unconsciously, my hand had balled up into a fist. Tears of frustration were filling the rims and I was finally falling apart even if I refused to admit.

His calloused hand clamped over mine, his warmth softening my fist, shock signals were being sent to my neuron rushing my brain to rack the cells for translation but once my eyes held his gaze, I couldn't stop myself from buried into his chest seeking for desperate comfort I longed for from him.

Between my sobbing, I heard him assuring me, "I'm here. I'll always be here for you. Always…"

* * *

**Daytimedrama: Thanks for being my 'pusher' and the valuable reviews for this story.**

**CSI808: Happy ending is my plan but let's see where my plot bunny takes me.**

**JennCorinthos: Hope your heart heal with this chap then...**

**seaandsun: Of course DL forever. Cheer for this couple!!!**

**chili-peppers:** **They'll be together. It's a promise.**

**mwar123: Not yet though not sure where this will lead to.**

**nikkilou: As you wish. Thanks for the reviews.**


	5. All In A Day

**Disclaimers: I own nothing...**

**Author's note: Been awhile since my last update, hopefully my bunny plot didn't disappoint the long wait. I try to balance this chapter with enough d/l and also tying some loose end. Thanks for the wonderful reviews! Enjoy!**

* * *

Broken windows, peeled-off paint, hole-filled brick walls and stale air which smelled like leftover foods and urine made people who went into this abandoned and soon-to-be demolished building felt like walking into a ghost town. It used to shelter homeless and junkies but it was totally empty after Zoe Adkins was tortured and found here. Inside apartment 504 at the fifth floor to be exact where the crime took place. Evidence had been collected, nothing left in this floor except for the vague dreaded feeling that haunted here. 

After days of staring at the crime scene photos, I was able to reconstruct the scene in my mind and that was what I am going to do. Reconstructing and walking through the scene was one of the skills I picked up from Mac, he always do that at the crime scene and best at it. Ignoring the foul air, I walked deeper into the room where the rack was once placed, where Zoe Adkins was once tied up and where her blood once pooled. From there, my brain began to run through the possible scenario starting from the doorway where the perpetrator carried an unconscious Zoe into this place and tied her to the rack.

Eyes shut tightly for a moment of hesitation before I had to bring up those disturbing images in my head. _For Zoe, for me._ Eyes willed to open, I let the scene to continue playing, putting myself in the shoes of the criminal but that didn't blind and numb me enough to oversee Zoe's pain as I contemplated the humiliation and insult inflicted by him. Finally after one struggle over another, I ended it for I was able to pick up some vibes of the rapist. _A dominant male._ _He was a cautious and control man. Thrilled by the pain he could cause on opposite sex and he had no respect for women maybe even a bit arrogant._

Satisfactory took some edges off. I fought through the dreadful morning commute and somehow I ended up pulling over at a place I thought I would never revisit. The townhouse's exterior remained the same thing I saw a year ago but I knew deep down that this house bore three unsolved murders. My hands tightened on the wheel as I swore on my badge that I would make that guy regret for not making sure I was dead.

Traffic was always an undeniable problem in an urban city when most people weren't so friendly in the morning without the first cup of coffee. With some relief, I made it to the crime lab in one piece. In need of some caffeine to recharge my system, I took a detour to the break room. Seeing the beeline, I frowned.

Scribbling something on my PDA, I patted Flack on his shoulder and held it up for him to see.

Squinting, he read my words out loud, "Why the hell is half of the precinct detective stealing crime lab's coffee?"

"Stealing is not a nice word, Monroe. We're establishing our bond with the crime lab by sharing coffee." I arched my brows skeptically.

"We run out of coffee. Well you know, in our line of work, we need caffeine to pump up the system so we have the energy to keep the street safe. It's a tough job."

Snorted, I replied. Keep your talk shop for the girls you pick up, Flack.

He just smirked after reading the reply. Like Danny, the man had his own charm smile.

Set my sight once again at the long queue, I groaned involuntarily. Betting I could survive an hour or two without a hot cup of joe, I turned away to stare at a cup of coffee suddenly held out in front of me. The distance between us was close enough for me to catch a sniff of his after shave. I didn't think it had ever occurred to him that his scent or one glance of his vivid blue orbs could push my system into overdrive.

"I save one for you. Those guys down at the precinct jump on coffee like hyenas." Danny offered.

Speechless yet grateful, I accepted the mug, sipped contemplatively and almost moaned as it was the same coffee he made me a few nights ago. Feeling heat rose to my cheeks had me wondered whether it was the thought of him making me coffee or it was the liquid that warmed my system.

Danny, I ought to give you a kiss for the coffee. I teased before I could stop myself. And for that I blamed his coffee. It was spiked with his charm.

Those words had his jaws popped down, his spectacles dropped a good notch, hanging on the tip of his nose.

I only meant it as a joke. I said in a knee-jerk response.

"Of course," Pushing his specs up, he faked a cough then muttered, "Although I don't mind if you really do kiss me."

Sipping coffee seemed to be a good way to cover up awkwardness but the minute he expressed his willingness to accept my proposition, my plan went south as I choked like someone had just told me I was gulping down poison.

"I'm sorry Montana, I was kidding. You alright?" He patted me gently on the back.

Recomposed, I assured him that I was fine. Finally getting his coffee, Flack joined us outside the break room.

"Hey Messer, how come you have never offer your best friend any coffee?" Flack's puckish side acted up with the first sip of caffeine.

Seeing Flack's interruption as an opening to an escape, I simply gave an excuse about some paperwork I have to deal with and slipped into our shared office.

I must admit a casual interaction and a taste of Danny's coffee was one hell of a good way to start an awful morning. With that good mood, I was able to clean up some of the paperwork that threatened to flood my desk. Half an hour later, Danny popped his head into our office.

I smirked and acknowledged his presence. Need something, cowboy?

I surprised at myself for using my term of endearment to him for the first time in a very long time. Even more surprise when I didn't found the smirk I anticipated on his face instead symptoms of hesitation showed as he struggled to find words. When two figures moved out from behind him, I suddenly understood his hesitation.

"Are you Detective Bonasera? We're Zoe's parents." A petite woman still looking considerably young in her mid-fifties asked, voice strained.

"No, this is Detective Monroe. She's working alongside Detective Bonasera on Zoe's case." Danny answered then turned to me, "Do you know where Stella is? I can't find her anywhere."

I think she had gone out with Flack to check on something about a case. I signed.

"Damn, who's going to deal with them?" His voice came out low to avoid the attention from the parents behind him.

I'll do it.

The look he gave me was exactly the same when I volunteered to go undercover on the robbery case. Seeing my face warned him not to overstep the boundaries between us, his features softened.

"You sure?"

I nodded.

"Then I'll go in with you. We'll deal with them together."

Hearing his offer, I almost agreed immediately. That man had a perfect timing to lend his helping hand and he also knew me, I doubted, even better than myself.

I'll be fine by myself. Besides, you don't work on this case but thanks for offering to do this together.

The parents were settled in the conference room. Outside the glass wall, I observed the two people sitting there, face ravaged by fatigue and exhaustion. Getting a closer look, I noticed Mr. Adkins was a built man, with the broad shoulders and well-tanned skin reminded me of my own father. They must have been worrying sick about their daughter, heart ached at seeing the state Zoe was in. Driven by all this, they didn't mind seeking out the investigators of Zoe's case and asked for answer.

I began started into the room only had Danny hand grabbed my arm and halted me. "You really don't have to do this. You told me before you don't like to deal with mothers."

Clasped his hand back, I gave him a squeeze before I stepped inside. Settled down at the opposite side of the table, I took out my PDA, opting my only way to talk to them. Before I finished my first sentence, Mrs. Adkins broke the silence.

"Detective Monroe…"

Looked up, I saw the small woman slightly tense before she continued, "Seems to me, you have difficulties speaking. I mean no offense. I just want to say I can understand sign language if it'll be easier for you."

You can understand sign language? I asked.

"Yes. I was a social worker and had worked some time in a hospital." She explained.

So, what can I do for you, Mr. and Mrs. Adkins?

At first, her husband's face painted with confusion but cleared out after she interpreted my question. During the whole meeting, she took the double roles being a concerned mother and an interpreter at the same time.

"We come by hoping to learn about the progress in our daughter case. All we were told was our daughter being attacked by some sick bastard and nothing more. Do you have a suspect?" He inquired, eyes glazed with controlled anger while Mrs. Adkins's eyes filled with unspeakable sadness.

Firstly, I can understand how you feel and I'm sorry for what happened to Zoe. Unfortunately, I can't discuss an ongoing investigation. All I can say is we're pursuing new leads.

Hearing my words interpreted, his jaw clenched so hard his nerve bulged on his neck. Slamming one hand on the table, water sloshed over the rims of the glasses which being served to them earlier, he demanded, "That's all? Our daughter was attacked… brutally and all you can give us is pursing new leads!"

Underneath my calm exterior, my nerves were shaken, not by the rage of the man but by the guilt for I wasn't able to do more for them. Mrs. Adkins was overwhelmed by her husband's words as she was reminded of the ordeal, tears fell in silent yet she grabbed her spouse's arm, holding him back.

I apologized again and hated myself for I had no more words.

"Zoe…" Her voice cracked. "She is devastated and depressed. She looks so… so…" Sobs escaped her mouth as she couldn't bring herself to say the word.

Broken? I expressed it for her instead and offered her some Kleenex.

She looked a bit startled by my word yet she regained enough composure to nod and wiped her dampened cheeks. Mr. Adkins earlier outburst faded, his strong features bore only sadness and he wrapped his hand over her wife's shoulder, giving her a few light squeezes.

"She's our baby girl. It broke our heart to see her like this. My wife and I thought if we can get some answer… if we know that you've got the son of a bitch, maybe… just maybe Zoe will feel better after getting a closure." His firm voice wavered like he was restraining himself from crying.

I could comprehend their thoughts as I was searching for the same thing- a closure. Answer might not help what had already happened but by knowing one horrible chapter of life had been closed, one could moved on instead of staying in one place and let the time do the healing process.

The least I could do for the grieving parents now was looked them in the eye and gave them my word.

I won't rest until I get this bastard.

Finally over, I got to my feet, both hands braced on the table and stared at the two empty seats the Adkins occupied a few minutes ago before releasing a lengthy breath. Out of nowhere, a hand patted me on the shoulder. Being mute, I was allowed to preserve my dignity and bit back a yelp.

You scare the hell out of me.

"I'm sorry. You just seem a bit zoned out. You alright?" His blue orbs bored into mine, I had the slightest doubt that this man could read me like an open book.

Why wouldn't I be? I replied as convincingly as I could then walked out the minute I did.

Hot on my trail, he got the hint that I didn't want the question to be discussed. "Well, for a person who hates to deal with grieving mothers, you did well in there."

I don't hate dealing with them, I'm just not good at that. I answered and quickened my pace. Danny always managed to probe the honest self in me and I always ended up leaning on his shoulder for comfort. As much as I liked the comfort, the idea of being depended on him was both appealing and irritating.

"Will you stop running for a second?" He called out when he gave up of chasing.

Turning around, I try to be annoyed. What? I had a lot of work to do. The parents were just here finding answer and I'm going to get them one.

Closing our distances, he took a few steps forward so that we were face-to-face. "I've no doubt you'll do that." For a few seconds, he watched my face like he was searching for a permission before he spoke again, "Were you having those feelings too?"

Huh? Where did the question came from, out of nowhere? I was totally baffled.

"Devastated, depressed and broken… were you feeling those after what happened to you?" He elaborated.

Being hit right on my nerves, I snapped. Were you spying on me just now?

Bitterness evident in his voice, he explained, "I was worry about you. I know you are tough and independent. I like that part in you. I just want you to know no matter how tough you are, there'll be times you tumble and that I'll be there for you." and he walked away.

Watching his retreated back, I shook my head. What had gotten into me that I had managed to push this man away every time he did nothing but trying to be there for me. I would deal with him later as for now, my priority would be finding the Adkins what they wanted.

I found Stella back at the crime lab and surprised to see Flack too, leaning one hip on her desk. Was it just me or the two of them were having a moment? Amused yet had no intention to pry into their business, I faked a cough as they were too deep into their 'small talk' that they failed to see me standing there.

"Lindsay, you need something?" Stella's cheeks bore evidence of embarrass and surprise while Flack covered his with a cough.

Crossing my arms, I eyed them both suspiciously and had to hold back a smirk and the 'are you two together?' question.

The Adkins was here just now wanted our progress in Zoe's case. They were quite upset.

"Oh." The amusement died down.

"What?" He threw the I-need-interpretation look at Stella then repeated again, "What?" at me as if to remind us that he was still in the room.

* * *

After a brief meeting, the three of us headed to NYU to check out Zoe's room. According to her statement, the rapist called her a few vile names like 'ungrateful bitch', 'slut', 'whore' and among others, we all agreed it was possible that our guy might know Zoe and our best bet would be to start with her college. A Texan came to this city to further her studies was enough of a cause for us to rule out people she knew back in hometown. After all, for someone who lived a few hundreds miles away to harbor grudges and attack her here was quite impossible and irrational. 

Her room reflected exactly who she was, a young girl who had strong passion for photography and a promising student, completely different from the girl who was now lying on the hospital bed that live to tell a horrified tale.

"Are you done? I need my room back." A girl who seemed to be the same age with Zoe leaned against the doorway, arms crossed, asked.

"You're Zoe's roomie, Cara Nelson?" Flack inquired, in a stance screamed I'm-a-tough-guy-cop-so-I'm-in-charge.

Out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw Stella smirked. _Even a blind man can tell something is definitely going on between these two_, I thought. _The man is showing off, trying to impress the woman and the woman practically drooling over his every gesture. God, I feel like going back to high school again, watching a football star impressing the cheerleader he's interested with. _Using utmost will power, I anchored my focus toward Cara.

"Yes. We hang out together sometimes. I guess you could say we're friends." She shrugged.

"It says in the report that you're the first person who noticed she went missing." Flack said.

"Zoe never missed a class. That girl loves photography more than life itself. I just figured something must be wrong with her to skip classes and went MIA for so many days so I reported it." Cara explained.

"Can you think of anyone who would do this to Zoe? Boyfriend or ex-boyfriend who can't accept rejection? Any threat received?" Flack probed.

"No one I can think of…" She pondered, eyes looked up at the ceiling then as if being struck by lightning, her eyes landed back on us, "There's this guy we met in a club called Prowl a few nights before she went missing. I think he said his name is Marco. He's kinda cute and a little cocky. He tried to hit on Zoe claiming he's a famous photographer but Zoe brushed him off. He's got this murderous look on him when he left."

"A club?" Flack raised a brow.

"Yeah… she wouldn't go at first but I, along with a few friends got her out. It's a girl's night sort of deal." Once she finished, her eyes filled with shock. "God, does that mean we got her into this mess indirectly?"

Instead of answering her question, Flack said, "Cara, we need you to come with us and do a sketch for us."

For the next two hours, I loaded my system with caffeine while waiting for Flack to urge the sketch to be completed and run through the system to see if we could get a match. Sitting in my office, I placed a pen on my lips and stared blankly at the mount of paperwork. Every minute passed painfully slow and sitting in this small room wasn't helping. Decidedly to do some leg work, I went to Prowl to try my luck. If I was lucky, our suspect might be a regular then we could get a name sooner.

A club like Prowl only blossomed into life, blasted with wild music and crowded with adventurous New Yorkers and tourists when darkness fell while at daytime, the club would be as quiet as a church. Except for the bartenders and waiters, there weren't even a shadow. Pulling out Zoe's picture, I began my questioning but the club was too crowded every night for the workers to recognize anyone. Just as I started toward the car, my phone shrilled. Flipping it opened, Stella's face swam into the screen and she told me the sketch came back with a match. The suspect, Marco Carvell fell into the system for sexual harassment two years ago and he was telling the truth when he claimed he was a photographer.

Following the address given, I arrived at the Greenwich Village 20 minutes later. Flack and Stella were already up there grilling the suspect, I imagined. From the outside, I sized up the apartment in one glance before I headed for the entrance. At that moment, a guy dashed out from the exit sending my nerves into alert but it wasn't until Flack yelled from the entrance, "Linds, that's our guy!" I started my pursuit.

My lungs began to burn and breath was started to come out ragged after chasing Marco for a couple of blocks. I could feel my shoulders bruised from all the bumping and pushing through the crowded street yet sheer will kept my legs going. From behind, Flack kept shouted for Marco to stop and Stella shouted into the radio for dispatch to alert any uniforms to assist in pursuit and both of them never once fall behind.

Willing my legs to go faster, I managed to keep close to him enough to make one leap and tackle him. Both of us landed hard on the ground. Using one elbow to push up, I immediately grabbed him before he fled again. His elbow struck out so fast I failed to evade and received two blows to my face yet my grip didn't loosened. Pain exploded in my head that I gritted my teeth and used my training to flip him on his back. Flack and Stella made it on time to slap the handcuffs on his wrists.

"You're bleeding. Let the EMS tend to you." Stella touched my bruised cheek.

I'm fine. I want no EMS come near me. I told her defiantly.

Over the year, I found myself dreaded at the thought of being tended by EMS or even going to a hospital. I avoided them and those places at all cost unless it was job relevant. _Maybe it was the smell of antiseptic or maybe the place brought back uneventful memories, _I thought.

Stella just gave a small laugh and shook her head. Ever since last year, she became slightly protective of me, of all of us. I suspected it might had been the lingering image of me almost died in her arms made her realized in our line of work, there was no saying when would one of the only family she knew would scarified in the line of duty.

How did you know he's our guy? I inquired.

"This guy is cocky and stupid enough to retain keepsakes. We found a bunch of photos he took after he tortured Zoe. That ought to be enough to put him away for a long, long time" Stella said with distaste.

That's good. I bet the Adkins will be happy to hear that.

Stella only response was a nod.

Our attention turned to Marco when Flack pulled him up and hissed, "Son of a bitch, I'll be happy to see you enjoy the rest of your life behind the bars."

As much as I liked seeing Flack and Stella having fun pressing a confession out of the sick bastard, I opted to break the news to the victim and her suffering parents as soon as possible. Made it just outside the building, I saw Danny standing arms crossed, leaning against his car. Seeing me, he dropped his arms and approached me. Remembering the earlier outburst, I lowered my gaze to the ground trying to muster up the courage and sincerity to apologize. But before I could do so, he lifted my chin and examined my battered face. His hard stare softened at the sight of the bruises.

Still saying nothing, he slowly shifted his gaze to my eyes. "Why didn't you let the EMS take care of the bruises?" His thumb swirled around my swollen cheek.

I observed his face for a moment._ Does that mean I am forgiven? Does that mean he is no longer upset?_ I could almost felt a smile tugged at my mouth.

Nothing serious. I shrugged casually.

"Going to the hospital?" He asked.

I nodded. I want to update the Adkins on the arrest. I signed.

"I'll give you a ride." Danny started toward the car.

Patted him on his shoulder, he turned to face me. Because it felt like the right thing to do, I hugged him, closing my eyes to enjoy the comfort on his muscular shoulders. _Thank you. And sorry. I might not say that out loud, I just want him to know that, to feel that._ Seconds later only did I felt he wrapped his arms around me. _I think he get that._ _The man know everything._

When we broke free, I took the initiative for once to offer something since all the while he was the one doing the offering.

You up for a dinner, Messer? I invited.

Surprise had him frozen for a moment before he registered my invitation. "You've no idea how long I've been waiting for this." Danny grinned.

Really? What about the pasta and cannolis? That was not dinner? I countered.

There was playful glint in his eyes now like he had taken up a challenge as he leaned against the car once more. "That was me being nice bringing supper for a beautiful and hardheaded woman I care about." Danny argued.

Then define dinner, Mr. Messer.

His blue orbs never left mine and mine couldn't leave his either, he answered smoothly, "Fine Ms. Monroe. Dinner is you and me, just the two of us dress up real nice having meal and sipping wine in some fancy restaurant, flirting and bantering having a good time, and maybe we'll even sway to the music."

Surrendering, I told him I might just know a place like that.

Who knew things would take a turn all in a day?


End file.
